Today I finally realized something: I am beautiful. I would like to share my experience with you.
I was an insecure girl who wavered between tomboy and girly fashions. I always thought, “Well, I can have more than one style.”, that idea never peacefully settled in me.
I knew what type of fashion I liked, though I was scared to show it. Here is one of my entries from my diary:
I’ve come to understand why I’ve chosen tomboy fashion over ‘girly’ fashion; I know The Lord revealed to me why.
…I’m afraid to be beautiful. I know that, at heart, I’m a “girly girl”. I’m just afraid to show it. Although I do like tomboy fashion, I’ve liked it for all the wrong reasons. I claimed to like it because it’s “comfortable”, when if fact, I only liked it to hide the true image I have for myself, and because it would hide the discomfort I feel in my own body.
I’ve always liked the huge purses, glittery, over-sized, cutesy fashion; however, I was afraid to wear those things because I worried about other people’s thoughts. One reason I tend to pretend is because of what (private) will think.
We both came up with my tomboy image, and to tell them I like girly fashion, I’m afraid they may laugh and make fun of me.
The point is, I know what I like. I’m just too fearful to show it. Realizing how beautiful I may be frightens me; I think I’ll turn into this stuck up girl.
Being beautiful scares me…
After realizing this, I threw my hands up and thanked God. After all, I had just prayed to Him, asking Him to show me how He sees me and to help me realize I was beautiful. I didn’t want to waver anymore. He answered! Next thing I know, I was crying because I finally understoon.
You may wonder why fashion plays such a big part in my understanding. I mean, true beauty comes from the inside, right? Exactly! I finally realized I’m beautiful inside, and to reflect that on the outside will be a little reminder of what’s inside. For me, fashion is no longer about looking a certain way, trying to make myself feel or look beautiful. It’s about reflecting my inside beauty on the outside. I hope to encourage you to work on being beautiful inside, letting the outside be a reflection of that. It’s a waste to be beautiful outside but ugly inside!
I think about you all the time;
What you look like, how you are
Where you are, and if
You think about me.
I look forward to the day we meet.
I dream about me being in
Your embrace, how our
Lips will care for one another, and
How we will travel the world together.
I may not know you yet, but
I can’t wait ’til we meet
And spend together forever…
We crave everything in the world. We want fame, love, money, houses, cars, friends, and more. When we finally have all of those things, we ask ourselves, “I have everything…but why do I still feel empty?”
“And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul?” Mark 8:36
You should watch what you say,
And think before you speak.
What you say has an
Impact on your life, and other’s.
What you say about someone,
Or even yourself, could possibly
You may say, “I was just joking.”,
Well…the enemy wasn’t.
“The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences.” Proverbs 18:21
If you quietly observe others, listen to how they talk, and what they talk about, you will know about them before they say “Hi.”
“You will know them by their fruits.” Matthew 7:16a
How do you enter someone’s house? By using the key. How do you enter the Kingdom of God? By using the key; Jesus Christ. He is the only way into heaven. If you have no key, you can not enter.
Would you tell someone to deliver an important message, knowing there’s no gas in the car? Then what makes you think God will do that to you? Just do what He says, and trust that He will get you where you need to be.
Just because we may not struggle the same, does not mean I don’t struggle at all. Just because I’m a disciple of Christ doesn’t mean I don’t face curiosity, temptation, doubts, fears, worries, confusion, etc. The only difference between you and me is that I have Christ to say “Peace be still” (Mark 4:39), and to teach and guide me when there’s a storm in my spirit. And guess what? So can you.
You are not average, you are not like everyone else, and you are not on earth just to survive. God created you for a reason.
How would you feel if you died for someone, and they rejected everything you’ve done for them?